I feel so fat and out of control. I feel helpless, inadequate and ineffective. Unable to achieve anything. I feel fat and lazy and hopeless. I know a person's worth is more than what the scale says, but it is too much. My life is more in control if it says less. I feel living with my parents is contributing to my feelings of helplessness. They do everything for me and I am a grown woman. But I'm not allowed to be independent. I'm not allowed to grow up. I'm not allowed to take any actions, make any choices that are my own, take a step of any sort away from them. I feel I can't even set up my own schedule or go to the gym. When they went away for a weekend, I went to the gym for 2 hours and it was great. But then they came back and I'm not allowed to achieve anything. I'm not allowed to do any better than I am. I must stay down. I must submit. I must be less than. I am not allowed. I do not have permission to be. Or to exist in my own way and my own right. I owe them everything. They own me.