yes. most of the hurts in my life... have come from people who were determined that they were helping me. but they weren't helping me. they were only helping themself.

i think they were driven by their own need... for whatever reason... they weren't able to be appropriately responsive to me. to see how what they were doing was affecting me. they couldn't tell that they were hurting me. they weren't empathetic toward me at all, if they were properly empathetic they would have got that i was in pain. because of what they were doing...

i think that sometimes our own pain / need can blind us a bit to what is going on for another. sometimes... we just can't see... we aren't able to act in another's interest. we can only act from our own need.

i feel sad that i think most of the world is like that.

but i'm coming to learn that... everyone has their quirks / weaknesses / flaws. i surely do... friendships... you can learn to be resilient with people, a bit. lots of people helps share a load. i know i've needed more than my fair share of the caring / attention during some points in my life... it helps me to pay it forward when i'm able... but it also helps everyone... when i realize i'm at my limits sometimes / not in the position to help other people / when i finally have the power to shut myself away from the world and do what i need to do for me to recharge...