Hi Bubbles. I understand how you feel because so often I feel the same way. Depression makes us hate ourselves and depression will tell you that you are stupid, worthless, a burden. You are a very good and valuable person who is suffering and needs help. Are you seeing a pdoc or therapist? If not, maybe see a medical doc who can maybe start you on an antidepressant and get you some help?
Don't give in and don't give up. Get help. You deserve this. And keep posting to us. We care about you.