I've tried to write this post 10 times, I don't think I can word what I want to say properly.

Since the school knows about his disorders, it's possible they are focusing more on him and his reactions much more than they should, ignoring the true cause of the problems. When I was a kid (undiagnosed, but they knew I had problems) anything that happened to me meant I was in trouble too. School was not a safe place.