It has been well over a year since I last cut. I am however latley thinking about it alot. I have not acted on it but hate the fact that I am even thinking about it. It seems to be worse when I am more stressed. Sometimes ok most times I can't even remember what I was thinking about to bring me to the point of almost acting on it. Of course me being who I am then feel like such a failure for even having these thoughts. It has always been hard for me to open up about anything but especially hard with the SI stuff - embarrassed, feel like a failure... Even writing this my anxiety is through the roof.
My T has been great about it and very supportive of course I have not told him that I am having these thoughts alot lately. I don't see him for 2 weeks as I am on vacation starting tomorrow. I do not like to call him (he doesn't mind and encourages it) as I hate to be a bother to anyone. I try to say to myself - "be proud of not acting on it" instead I say "I am a failure for having these thoughts"

I know I do not post much (hard for me to do), thanks for listening.

Sorry to ramble on.......