My crisis counselor called yesterday to tell me I have been approved and accepted into the patient program, not just the free crisis counseling. I see a psychiatrist for my assessment appointment this Thursday, and the DBT practitioner will call to set that initial appointment. My crisis counselor knows I have no insurance (I don't make enough to even purchase Obamacare), so my guess is this will be provided either free, or at a reduced rate.

I never really believed I would be accepted since they deemed me to be too highly functional, but I guess the meltdowns I've had and the flashback dreams I've been having convinced my crisis counselor that I do have two lives. One a public life, and the other my at home tormented life.

It didn't help the fact that my mother set me up about 10 days ago. Man, she threw me under the bus. Short story is I planned with her nurse to pick her up for her hair cut appointment, and she wasn't ready. Mom said she didn't know I was going to get there when I did. So I complained to administration that mom wasn't ready, like the nurse promised she would be. Later on, mom did admit that she knew I was going to be there at the time planned, because she turned away her PT and OT therapists. OMG! I made a fool of myself with moms nursing home administrators.

I didn't go to see her for 10 days. Every time I thought I might go see her, I would have a panic attack.

My counselor did a few reframes with me. One of which was I don't have to see mom every week, or every other week. I could even see her just once a month! Wow, she's right. My counselor also said I don't have to call my mom, or talk to her nurse every day and I don't need to ask about moms weight and what she's eating. Mom is in a nursing home being rehabbed, and she's being well taken care of and monitored. And my counselor is right. So, I wait for mom to call, now.

Needless to say, mom is a bit perplexed. Oh well.

As far as when mom gets to come home and I get to take on full time caregiving duties again? Let's just say I'm not thinking about that right now. I'm focusing as much on me as I can right now.

I'm getting DBT therapy! I have a psychiatrist! That means he'll prescribe meds appropriate for my diagnoses.

This is a bright spot. It's about time I get some traction and improve my life some.

My Dx's are C-PTSD and BPD.