I think that most of the people with any form of Bipolar disorder go through the feelings you're addressing now. Yes meds can help, yes therapy can help, yes for some people they are able to do neither of those and get on okay but what I've found for the most part is the jarring aspect of bipolar diagnosis and recognition is the fact that it is permanent. I often have to remind myself that I AM NOT BIPOLAR, which is to say that I am more than the disorder itself. While saying "I have bipolar" feels like bandwagoning the latest craze in pity parties it doesn't make it any less true. I hope that you find peace with Bipolar, I know I am still searching for my own.