Stbx used to punish me for showing neediness or weakness. Crying when he upset me was a good way to escalate the abuse I was experiencing. I learned to pretend that it didn't hurt, that I didn't care. He used to tell me that he wanted me to be strong with everyone else, but not with him. Translation: you are not allowed to need anyone or anything. He used to tell me that he would never trust anyone else and that he wanted me to be his therapist. He wanted me to take responsibility for him. I did for the longest time. I made him look good and I took on all his sh^t. I looked like the demon. I can't even explain here how terrible things were for a while. I nearly lost everything because he couldn't or wouldn't grow up and accept an adult's responsibilities.

Okay, that got way deeper than I intended. What I was trying to say is that I think most people's SOs are willing to listen and they love their spouse enough to try, to really try to work things out. Not mine. It was always my problem. He would say anything to get me to do what he wanted. It was just words. He never put any value in words, and had no notion of the concept of truth. The only truth that mattered to him was the reality he created in his own mind.

Sorry, got deep again. I'll stop now. Probably. Well, for now at any rate.

I'm in the wine. Can you tell?

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