The "L" word has come up in my therapy recently also. My T used to say she cared deeply for me but she never used the word love. Part of me used to be "in love" with her but now I have settled into loving her in a more general way.

She surprised me a couple of months ago by writing in an email "sending love to you." Those words scared me because a few years back she told me that the word "love" is reserved for her family and close friends. I know I'm neither.

So we talked about love and she asked "what is love anyway", and mentioned the book Love 2.0 which apparently discusses a broader definition of love than is commonly used. She said that with somatic experiencing the T becomes very close to the client, (not meaning it doesn't happen with other modalities too), so love is important. I think she means deep caring and compassion for her clients which is one kind of love.

At a recent session she made clear that she doesn't mean romantic love, and it's not like the way we love our kids either. I suggested it's " therapy love", and told her I read that terminology somewhere, and she liked it. So in my last email I signed it Love (therapy love), rainbow, and in her email she wrote "sending therapy love." Those words don't scare me as much as the word love alone. For me, exploring my feelings about love is important, and being able to accept that my T cares for me "that much" and to know that I'm allowed to express my love for her, are crucial steps towards my healing.