I don't think this is true at all. At least for a T who works psychodynamically or psychoanalytically, their feelings about a client are like a tuning fork--they're indispensable to doing therapy. The skill is in being very attuned to their feelings, but recognizing which parts reflect themselves and which reflect the client, so as not to impose or project their perspective onto the client. This is what allows them to be able to both deeply understand and empathize, while also being apart and objective enough to keep our interests paramount. They couldn't help us if they were consumed by our suffering, but they also couldn't help us if they were immune to our suffering.

For me, very little of therapy was taking skills learned out into "real life." Perhaps a more CBT oriented approach would lend itself to this. Certainly the understanding of self that I gained had influence beyond the T's office; and as my perspective of self changed, so did my actions both within and beyond my T's office. I don't think of therapy as not real life, simply a different slice of real life.