Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Courtesan
It always surprises me in here when people talk about how horrible their family is and what an awful effect they've had on their lives...and yet-they still hang around with them. I ditched the soul eating trolls in my 'family' many many years agao and sure I am much better and saner without them than with them.
If you hang around small people, they will make you feel small. If you hang out with effed up people, they will only make you feel effed up.
The only people who are allowed into my life now are the ones who enrich it. Smaller circle of friends but much better quality.
I don't hate myself anymore. Why should I? I didn't request this freak show in my head. So I don't blame myself for it anymore. It's like blaming yourself for haing cancer or kidney disease or breaking your leg.
You know inside yourself if you are a good person-stop letting other peope muck it up and confuse you. Did you step on a kitten today? Did you deliberately hurt someone else's feelings? Did you knock a senior down so yu could get ahead of them in the grocery lane? No?
Then you are probably a nice person. I reward myself with kudos and good thoughts, and usually chocolate for the random acts of kindness I do everyday.
Hang around with some good people for a while. And eff em if they can't take a joke.  |
I've done the same thing. Families are all different and it's all different for everyone, but I'd recognized their toxidity and smothering effect ("ditched the soul eating trolls in my 'family'" is a good way to put it) and after I'd tried everything I could to improve things, but no chance for a change, as abuse is all that they keep inflicting, I'd ditched them. I can't control people to change and if they absolutely refuse to, that leaves you no choice.
Things like 'I didn't request this freak show in my head' I can really identify with and I think, as I imagine a family and one's parents naturally ought to be loving and nurturing since you were a child, it's something nobody deserves (to be treated so badly (which doesn't mean their dictatorial voices and the guilt felt haven't left my head.))