I'd like to go back to the time when I didn't think I had bipolar. Even though I cycled it didn't bother me because I thought it was normal. I would go up without worrying about it and go down with th knowledge that it wouldn't last. It was nice, being able to just enjoy hypomania. Of course, that was before full blown manic or mixed episodes or psychosis came into play. I feel like I turned a corner when I went manic then psychotic last spring and I can never get my old self back. I can no longer deny my illness. I'd like to.

But I'm working on just enjoying this high. I don't think it will get to be full blown as the ECT and meds have seemed to "cap" the episodes. I can live like this. I couldn't live with the extremities before the ECT. I just hope it lasts for awhile.

I was calmer today. Still a lot of dancing but I was able to spend most of the snowy Sunday reading a book. Finished the whole thing. I have tomorrow off for president's day and a possible snow day on Tuesday, if the storm does what the weather says. A few days to be me with no judgement as long as my husband doesn't see.