(((((((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))))
I know its hard ... i've been there too. But there are other things .. other ways. I know you have it in you, even if sometimes its hard for you to see that you do. When you feel like you're going to .. try and remove yourself from the situation. Distract yourself with something else - even if it only works for a couple minutes.

I use to put together a box thing and in it i put all kinds of things for these times. Times when i felt like nothing would help me but this relese. In this box i would put pictures, letters, friends numbers if i needed them, and just comforting objects that i had. Whenever i felt like crap, i took out this box and went through everything. Wouldn't stop until i had looked at everything in it, and most of the time (not ALL of the time but most) i felt better. If anything, it delayed what i was going to to, and sometimes made me change my mind about it.

You have so many people who care about you here ... stay strong and PM my anytime. I mean it.

xoox Jacq