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Old Feb 15, 2015, 09:39 PM
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Becoming Becoming is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: New York State
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AppalachianAxis View Post
I know exactly how you feel. So, you;re not alone, if that helps in some way.

People will be in a rush to tell you how natural and healthy a practice masturbation is. They mean well, but I've found this to be very unhelpful when it just make you feel, well, terrible.
I have dealt with the very condition you describe my entire life. Sexual thoughts and actions have made me feel anger, regret, shame, depression, etc. Nothing pleasant to be sure. Unlike you, I've always felt this way but I have taken a few steps that might help you.

I know you've said you'd feel uncomfortable talking about this with your current therapist. That is totally understandable. But if the issue persists, I highly recommend seeing a professional Sex Therapist as this is unbelievably helpful in this regard. It's not weird, it's not uncomfortable or unprofessional, these sorts of issues are exactly what Sex Therapists are around to help with.
Apart from that, you may with to do some research into a few things and see if you can relate. "Post-coital depression" is the closest I've come to finding an exact term for the extreme negative feelings following sex/masturbation/etc. Maybe give that a Google search or two?
I've come to identify with Sexual Anorexia and/or Sexual Aversion disorder. They aptly describe my relationship with my own sexual urges and from what I've come to understand, it is quite possible to become Sexually averse at ANY point in life.
"Thought Stopping" is something that I learned in Sex Therapy. Basically, it involves taking a step back from yourself when those negative feelings start to set in. Try as best you can to detach yourself from emotions and ask yourself a few questions. Do I deserve to feel this why? Have I done anything wrong? Have I hurt anybody? It's not full-proof, but I've found it helps.

I wish you the best of luck. And feel free to ask any questions, this is the place for answers. And as I said, I'm something of a lifetime expert on the matter. :P
I've had the issues for quite a while. Probably since I was very young. That I would feel sad/disgusted for doing that. But it's always worse after having a sexual relationship with somebody and then trying to get back into self-pleasure when there's nobody else around. I had a couple people I had sex with, but didn't date and for a while they were still on my mind even after we called off the sex part.

I wish that I could see masturbation as something to be okay with/not ashamed of. Sometimes I can't help but to do it because I have a random urge. Then, as I said, I feel bad after doing it.

I feel that this is somewhat minor, so I'm not sure I would need a sex therapist. As far as I know, I don't have any other sexual issues. I mean...maybe as a temporary thing, but that's also more money coming out of my account (which my parents will question since my account is linked to their account).

I'll check out those things just to have a bit of knowledge about them at the least. I'll see if I can relate to them.

I like the thought stopping. Any suggestions of what to do like "during the act"? I mean, what/who else can I think about that doesn't wind up being a bad thing after? Thinking about myself without fantasy is boring. lol.
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