Whew! Justy, you matter! Having just chatted with you so recently I was terrified, reading your post, afraid one of my worst fears had come true, that in my triing to break out of my long isolation with my hopelessness, pain, and rage at the world somehow I'd inadverantly said somethin. Somehow everyone here needs to remember that we're all here seeking support, and answers, and that sometimes(?) growth and people are rather thorny experiences. At some level I think at least we all always mean well even if we're incapable of sounding as though we do while triing to ferret out answers to this stuff. try not to over think it, or let someone's comments, that may be way more about them than you, get to you. We need o work hard on our stuff (too darn hard,darn it) and yet remember to stay soft on the people. So glad to see your later post here, I mean you're one of the first people who's name I'm starting to remember. Hope you're feeling better and better. later, Downsolong