I think you are reaching out for help......along with depression along for the ride....it sucks to have the little voice talking to you in your head...telling you to do things that you normally would never think of doing.....talk to your doc....tell him how your feeling....I had to.....it put me in the hospital....but the consequences of not talking would have landed me in jail....for life....what kind of help do you think you would get there? in prison? Best of luck...Artie