Thank you, Bluegrey. I really appreciate your kind words and support.

Rough day. Didn't even make it to work. Didn't do anything much at all - mostly just sat, staring into space, for hours. Safe, at least, but this is not me, this is not how i do things.

T assured me i'm not in trouble, that i'm cared about and they want to help. I've read his words several times, but they're not sinking in. Still feel afraid.

And still deep in the hole. Just have to ride it out, I guess. Been in a hole before so keep telling myself that i obviously know how to get out of them. I'm not very convincing, though; not sure i even want to find my way out. Just so so tired of everything.