Quote:
Originally Posted by Mastodon
Whenever I see the words "attachment style" I want to reach for a blunt instrument to bludgeon myself. becuaser why that model pushes my buttons so badly. I mean, it seems likecj such a simple thing to say "That doesn't apply to me, so I don't need to bother with it".
I guess it is the way that its proponents sometimes seem to argue that it is a model that does apply to everybody in the same way (that is, everybody fits neatly into one of the four boxes, and each box is unambiguously "good" or bad").
But again, it doesn't apply to my life, so why can't I just ignore it and allow those people it does apply to discuss it among themselves?
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That is a great question. Such a strong reaction could very well be telling you something.
I am dismissive avoidant. This type of behavior makes me comfrtable. I also realize my life would be better if i could modify my maladaptive patterns.
In my experience, anytime I feel an overwhelming need to claim that something doesnt apply to me, it is usually because it is because it DOES apply to me, at least a little, but I am very invested in maintaining that it isn't so. When i genuinely do not agree or feel something applies to me, i can offer my opinion, or leave it alone. The inner rage is not there.