tjanks for the posts, and sorry for not replying sooner (computer very sick!!). 1st up, soidhonia, as far as I know there are no home tests here in nz. Will do some ringing around tomorrow tho just to make sure. 2nd,a quick update. Went quite deep at my last t session. Everything is just too overwhelming at the moment, so I am using my usual and most effective coping strategy- blocking everything out as best as I can til I am in a space where I can deal with it. So basically I guess I am doing ok for now. (Blocked out everything while I was in t's office...went from SOOO tense, anxious and distressed to cool, calm and collected within moments. Worried my t no end til I told her what i was doing!!!).