Quote:
Originally Posted by Clementine K
Please, for yourself, wash your sheets.
Ditto what the others have said regarding making steps in the right direction!
I understand being afraid of getting better, but you won't lose your support by improving right? I suspect LCM will stand by you throughout the next phase of your growth and won't drop you because you're less needy and helpless.
Maybe it would help to make a list of what getting better looks like? For example:
1) Education
2) Rewarding job
3) More mature relationship with LCM
4) Boyfriend/girlfriend
5) More rewarding friendships
6) Inner peace
7) Independence
8) Self care
9) Pride in your body
and so on.
Whatever your list looks like can be broken down piece by piece, and achieved in small steps.
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I called my friend. She'll lend me some laundry detergent and $2 so I can wash my sheets tonight. I'm way short on money for a few days because the snow has messed with my pay cycle/cut my hours like crazy. And I'm saving the $10 I have until Friday or when my check from this weekend comes for emergencies/making sure I can see LCM when she gets home. But I will wash my sheets later and that will be solved.
It's a good list. I'm working on everything on it in some way. I'm in school, I don't have my dream job yet but I'm working on it and playing much more frequently, I've made huge strides with LCM already even though I still have a long way to go. I've decided to take looking for a boyfriend really slowly. I'm not gonna just hook up with someone randomly or waste my time with guys who will pressure me. I have a steady job outside of my freelance work and it doesn't pay enough or have enough hours, but it is building a resume. Which reminds me I need to fill out an application for another job I found teaching music. I need more friends and the last ones you listed are very much not where they need to be.