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Originally Posted by Mastodon
Well, sometimes that is true, but sometimes it isn't.
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Good point. After I wrote that, I realize that I also get angry like that when I perceive something to be similar to hurtful treatment from my past. I get triggered by certain types of behavior.
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I had a colleague who told everybody everything she was thinking and apparently never feared that people would leave her, and she was not a happy or well adjusted person at all.
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I think that would be a sign of lack of boundaries and unhealthy attachment. Secure attachment would involve knowing the appropriate level of disclosure for the situation.
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And there is absolutely nothing wrong if one is "avoidant" or "dismissive" and one's relationships function well anyway. I guess I just really hate anything that tries to force me into a mold (especially one that is based on psychological tests made on people in a foreign culture).
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I have a hard time picturing relationships functioning successfully with avoidant or dismissive behavior. As much as I adore all of my tough little protective behaviors, I am aware that they do result in a certain lack of intimacy and and loss of authenticity. I don't view it as fitting into a mold, but rather learning a new skill that could help improve my mental health.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who are totally content with their attachment style I would certainly not demand that anyone change anything. If it works, it works. I also have people in my family who are perfectly content with their attachment style, but could have more satisfying relationships if they worked on viewing things in a different way. That isn't my business to change that either, even though I am directly affected. All I can do is determine my level of contact and involvement.