I'm not really sure about all this, but I suppose I'm just hoping for a bit of reassurance.

I'm having EMDR treatment for PTSD and since the last session I have been feeling odd. I know that I dissociate to some extent (I remember very little of my childhood, and have blanked out all the details of a csa (by strangers) which I am now getting hints of during the EMDR sessions).

During that last session, I realised that there was, and is, a part of me that people can't get to to hurt. During the assault I somehow hid inside this part of myself. I can also remember feeling kind of separate for a lot of the time as a child and teenager - there was a lot of difficult stuff with my mum who had a long term illness and was also an alcoholic - in the EMDR session I described this as being the part of me that coped. Sorry if this isn't making sense.

Anyŵay, since the session I have been feeling separate and numb again, as if I don't care. I spent so many years like that, but I escaped eventually and am now usually much more aware of my own emotions and feel warm towards other people. But now it feels like it used to, I feel very separate, almost cold. Numb, maybe. The day after the session I hardly did anything, just sat in the chair most of the day. Since then it has felt as if I am on autopilot, I'm doing things as normal but I don't feel anything.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? I've done a bit of reading and it sounds like depersonalisation, I think. How do I get back again? I don't know what to make of this, it's weird.

Thanks for any thoughts.

Bluegrey