I wouldn't say I was shocked by the amount of change required, but I was completely blindsided by my own reaction.

When I started therapy I believed I was 100% committed to the process. I knew that things were bad - scratch that, I was hit over the head with a 2x4 with how bad things were. I wanted to be in therapy, I knew I needed to be in therapy. And then, bam! Resistance. I can't even describe it because even though I was there and (I thought) fully present, I can't even remember most of it happening. At best I am aware of blank spots in my memory. Hands down the trippiest experience of my life.