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I’ve been in a relationship with this man for a few months. We met on a dating site, went for a causal dinner and really hit it off. He’s 8 years older than me. We both have been married more than once and we both have talked about what we want for the future. I feel we are at an age that there’s no reason to be playing games. We both agree that communication is the most important thing in a relationship and we do pretty well at that. However, I feel there’s a couple things I’m not getting out of the relationship. I tell myself they are minor, but they are important to me. I ask myself is it me being needy or him playing games or maybe it’s just who he is. I’ve tried to express my wants and he gave me that for maybe 2 days, then it was back to the same thing. So is he playing games? Is he just oblivious or do men just not care? How do I ask for what I want without it coming across like I’m nagging or needy.
It’s simple, I want to feel like I am thought of and desired. The simplest way to show me that is to send me a text in the morning to say hi and for him to initiate intimacy or touch when we are together.
(Keep in mind, we do not live together) The problem is, I’m the one that sends the morning text message 90% of the time and when we are together I usually initiate touch. I start work at 6am, he doesn’t start until 8am, so I typically will shoot him a text to say good morning. There have been many times that I purposely don’t text him to see if he will send me one. It’s usually 2 or 3 in the afternoon before he does. And then it’s a question, is everything ok I haven’t heard from you. I have to ask myself, is he just now thinking of me enough to send me a text? What the hell?
I have asked him what it is that he likes most from me to feel loved and desired. He told me he likes my touch, everywhere, and so I make sure to give him that. However, it would be nice for him to grab me close and kiss me or whisper in my ear that he wants me, maybe even walk by and just rub up against me. But that seldom happens unless I initiate it.
So – is it just a man thing? is he playing games? It just hurts sometimes. It seems simple to me, so why isn’t it simple for him.
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