LOL @ the tongue face in the first paragraph - the sentence seeming to cutely be saying, " seeeeee". I do stuff like that.

Continue doing what you are doing, filtering through the stuff and trying to determine what makes sense and what doesn't.

WRITE DOWN THE VARIOUS SYMPTOMS. Especially the most common, I took a notebook, drew a graph, on one side are my common symptoms - rage, psychic, obsess, over eat, hours of sleep and I write if I had a symptom by a scale. Your doctor will need to know, and its easy to forget during the appointment.

Also, I have learned if I see something escalating or de-escalating I can tell if I am going to be manic, or depressive and what might come with it. On one hand, its just keeping track, but on some level I have the feeling that I am working with it better. (more in control?)

Your episodes sound pretty rough. Since you know you can't get immediate treatment, or you don't want to be on drugs so strong your numb - I suggest beginning to be careful about what you eat. Avoid MSG - Caffiene - sugar. Try to eat more natural foods, keep as close to a good schedule as possible (I know you have trouble sleeping) - exercise, etc. Lots of water, try to become as clean as possible to aid the transitions.

Also, you are so lucky to be working so well with this so young! You have such a great opportunity to learn good communication skills to help your family, friends and relationships understand what is and what is not their responsibility.

I am a mom, we worry. Even though your mom wants you to not talk to her about everything, and keep trying your best, she is vastly worried I am sure about how you are. She will want to continue denying the extent of the illness for awhile. We moms blame ourselves for everything. So don't just share with her things to freak her out. Share also what you are learning, and the positive progress the medical profession and the talking to people have on the illness and on yourself.

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Examples, " Mom - I know this is scary for you as it is for me, and all these thoughts I have sometimes I just need to tell you _____. Need you to know I love you and I am lucky to have a supportive parent helping me to learn to cope. It is common to have the extremes begin in adolescence and I am glad that I can share with you. I need you to respect me and know I am not making stuff up, that I am scare and fascinated. That I want to do the best I can to have a good and happy life and I have more to learn about how to achieve this then others. That I will work with professionals who we can learn to trust. I will need you to believe me if I say a doctor or a med isn't working for me. Professionals need to be there to guide us, but only I can really decide for myself if someone or some thing is not working.
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Talk to your folks on some of these topics and they will feel less like you are out of control. They need to know that just because you have a mental illness doesn't mean you have lost your intelligence.