I'm 19 and living with my family. It is the hardest thing ever. Everyone in my family shuns me and none of them understand any of what's happening with me. I have had stuff for many years. I love my family and sometimes we have good times. And sometimes I think they might understand just a bit. But whenever anything happens or is said concerning anything at all to do with it, they shut it out.

Well, lately I've been getting worse again. I had a few good years in between. I've wanted to raise my meds, maybe talk to someone again, change my meds, anything to help my mind come back. Well, my parents won't listen. And then they try to make all my decisions without me. I can't seem to explain it all right.

So today my dad told me he wanted to take me to get acupuncture. Uh, no... I am so terrified with needles, whatever benefit it could possibly have would be counteracted out. And then he got all mad and was going off about how we've tried all these different things, meds and vitamins and therapy... And he said I'm not fixed yet. No matter what I say they think its something that can just be cured and gone forever. My mom then said that maybe its all in my head. I can't believe she had the audacity to say that. But the next thing she then said totally broke me down. She said that 'its gotten old.' Mental illness has gotten old, me, her own daughter, has 'gotten old'.

That just broke me. I dont know what to do, I have no one to go to except my college psychologist in 2 weeks. I have no one else to talk to. I try talking to my parents, I try making them understand. They won't even read tiny 3 minute eye-opening articles that I send them links to every once in a while. They say they're too busy to listen, too busy for anything.

I try to be nice. I try to stay quiet. I dont complain, I dont really say much to them about anything unless I need to.

I consider it a blessing as well as a curse, but im dealing with this every second of every day. My whole life is effected by this.

Still, I guess its 'gotten old'.