Itīs a bit reassuring to hear about someone else having had similar thoughts. I didnīt expect that. As you said you also heard about others having these thoughts, did you get to know about why such thoughts appear? (Or if anyone else here at PC knows).
I donīt think itīs anything gross about the thoughts or that you can assume those women, as for example your own T, are sexual in some way or another. The thoughts though bother me sometimes but mostly because I donīt know why I have them.
Iīm almost sure I could never talk to a T about this as Iīm going to see precisely that kind of woman I have these thoughts about. It would be that embarrasing I couldnīt get back in therapy if I let her know. It feels abnormal in some way having those thoughts.
In what ways could maternal transference be unaddressed? And how is it shown in an adult?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeCharmer
Before I had any sexual experience, I used to think about other, older women having sex, wondering what it was like for them, if they enjoyed it, if it made them happy, if it was romantic or gross or ... just thoughts. It wasn't even erotic, I didn't get turned on. I just wondered what it was like for them and when I was older what it would be like for me.
As I matured into my own relationship and sexuality, that stopped. Other people's sex lives don't rouse my curiosity any longer.
I've talked to other people who have gone through the same phase. Maybe the important aspect is whether or not thinking about these admirable women and potential Ts being sexual distresses you or not.
In the psychotherapy forum various posters have written about feeling highly distressed and grossed out about the thought of their Ts, especially their female Ts, being sexual. That distress seemed to be part of unaddressed maternal transference and regression to a younger age. Young people, especially in early adolescence when we're all figuring out what sex is about, often feel especially distressed by the thought of their mother's being sexual.
If it doesn't distress you and doesn't turn into chaotic maternal transference, it might be healthy curiosity about what this part of life is all about.
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