Thank you for the comments and support. I finally visited my p-doc, got lamictal on top of depakote. Got to know I'm in mixed episode again, this time it feels different than ones before as I'm crying much and laughing much and very energetic, previous episode were more on aggressive side. Well, anyone, any ides of how to build support network. I cannot imagine no single person who would be interesed to be involved in my insanity support team. I've worked hard on relationships with some friends/neighbors so that I have a safety plan relating to my children. But I can't tell them I'm bipolar, just can't. No old friends around, no family members other than my husband. Well, thanks to people here for support and understanding.