I obsess/worry about the fact that I just am so mentally abnormal. My family tells me that since I went off klonopin after 23 plus years that I am much clearer and "act" normal. Well I sure feel totally abnormal, more than ever. I don't know if I have just learned to be dysfunctional or what. I am told that I probably could function much more normally than I think I can. That is confusing to me.

Recently I learned about primarily obsessional disorder, and it fits me to a tee!
Primarily Obsessional OCD - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Of all the disorders that I have been wrongly or rightly diagnosed with, I am surprised this one has never come up. It seems to be one of my major problems. I certainly have NO peace of mind and it makes my depression way worse.

I really want help badly but cannot get it, maybe I just feel defeated. My past mental health experiences were very bad and the one good therapist I had is unavailable to me due to financial and other reasons. I see people getting help daily from Dr. Phil and it makes me wonder why I cannot be one of the lucky ones that gets REAL help. I have written to him many times but get no reply! I really, really do want help. I don't think I could take going to another therapist that would let me down, it's happened a lot. That is a serious let down that is fairly devastating to me.

I have been slammed before for saying that I do not feel at all supported here, but I just don't. I try to be accepting and reply to people but I know that I am not good at helping anyone else here. All the miserable suffering people here is just overwhelming to me.