The benefit is an outlet for my thoughts rather than texting her.

I can't stop thinking the way I do on it. Its like asking a person with ocd to stop washing their hands because they are raw and sore.

Jesus. Six months ago I would have been plunged into a deep depression and had trouble functioning. Now I get slagged off for coping as best I can while continuing to make good life choices (ie not self sabotage) and continuing to process this **** largely alone.

Well at least I know where I stand. It is clear I am too much for pc as well.