As I read your story, Inny, it sounds like you are bending backwards to please these people and get them to like you. And it is not producing the results you want.

If your behaviors aren't producing the results you want, how do you want to change and what results with those changes produce? Perhaps it's time to write down some alternative behaviors and what results you believe will happen.

The other thing that crosses my mind is whether some of this is you filtering events through distorted perceptions, such as depression, low self-esteem causing defensiveness, and so on. Do you have a T who can help you do a reality check and work through the emotional issues?