I don't know. All I see is that you are questioning and doubting your feelings more and more, and then feeling guilty when you do have feelings. Is that good? Are you having a chance to address the effect of therapy on your life and mental state?

Granted, it's messy and there is backsliding, but the process and impact of therapy and incidents that arise during session can be a useful topic. Either you get sidetracked away from it or your therapist diverts/ignores it, but these things seem to keep coming up.