I don't know how often you're going to couples therapy, but it sounds like it's often, which in my opinion here is necessary.

There's a lot of things happening in this relationship that need to be communicated, and a therapist needs to be there to make sure everyone is on the same page.

First off, it sounds like sex is becoming a power play. This is common in relationships. She's told you that you can just get anyone to be your sex doll. That's hurtful on many levels. If she's encouraging you to be with someone else, that's an entirely different issue to deal with... but right now it seems like she is trying to tell you that she doesn't feel any of the intimacy you described either. It sounds like to her, it's as though she's being treated like a sex doll. It's bad communication, but at the same time, she's letting you know that she wants far more than sex. You need to find out what she needs from you.

At the same time, you said that you don't want a sex doll. You're lacking in all the emotional intimacy you once had. That's exactly what she needs to hear from you. You can't expect her to have sex with you and fill it with all the intimacy you had in the past. The intimacy needs to be there first. Let her know that's what you want, and try to find ways with her to show mutual emotional intimacy.

There's much more as well, but I'll leave it at this for now. Let me know if this was helpful.