Thanks for all your replies, it really does help reading your posts and about your experiences,

I did tell him in the end and it helped - at least in the sense of getting it out of my head and getting out of the bad place. I don't really know where I am now, I'm ok but feel the need to shut myself off from it all now. I don't have the internal resources to deal with it anymore, I'm so tired; tired and angry but with no energy left.