I'm not sure therapy changed anything for me. I'm pretty sure this is the first time in my life I've ever sunk so low, even in high school when I was emo before the term was coined.

Therapy was supposed to help me figure out what was wrong and help me fix it. So far all I've done is compound the blame/shame/guilt triad and martyr myself in the process. I've lost touch with who I am (if I ever knew!) and who I wished to someday become. Now I've settled for just existing through the end of this day and waking up to slog through the next one.

These are the times I find myself questioning WTF was I thinking? Being unaware, with my head in the sand, letting whatever happened happen; that wasn't so bad! Sure I was depressed but now I'm desolate and very aware of it.

What made me think the ride was worth the price?

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