In the end, you will have to forgive her for your own welgoing.
Consider one thing, it's clear that you haven't got a good mum but she also struggles with her issues. She sounds as a manipulative person but perhaps she does it unconsciously.
I don't know if you have already done it but you need a long and honest conversation with her. You have to tell her the things that hurt you and how she has been in the past with you. Tell her that you need a different mum and that she has to learn from her faults.
Two things can happen. She doesn't show herself open to you're remarks. In that case, you will have to go on with your life as far as possible from her. But, you have done what you had to do, talk openly with her and perhaps, this can help you to forgive her.
The other possibility is that she shows you with an open mind and you both can begin a new relation. Good for both.

I did this with my dad and now we have a good comunication.

Luck!