I have been cleaning and purging and found a bunch of videos that belong to my X, long gone for 4 years. I know where he is -- he moved in with a gf in California while denying this. Liar, liar pants on fire.

I'd like to return the videos, no note or anything. On the one hand, I feel it has a passive-aggressive dimension. Merely sending the items says "I know where you are and that you lied."

On the other hand, the only other choice is to pitch them, and a few of these are films that he videotaped for himself, that are hard to find, and that he thought were really good.

Is is mean to send them? Or mean to pitch them out when it will only cost a few bucks to send them media mail?

PS -- Although he was emotionally very mean to me, I used that against him to keep all the joint financial holdings from 15 years together. It wasn't a lot, but it has helped, as he left me when I became sick and unemployed.

I've put in my 3-cents quite a few times on this list, so I hope I can get the pros and cons on this.