Quote:
Originally Posted by dorkygirl0609
Hi everyone, I just joined this forum in hopes of knowing people who may have suffered the same experiences I went through. I am a survivor of emotional abuse. My mother and her boyfriend are both sociopaths and narcissists. For the past 7 years of my life, I was living very unhappily in my mom's house. Whenever I made a mistake, I would brace myself for harsh yelling with name calling (*****, evil, c***). I always thought to myself that because I did something wrong, I deserved to be yelled at and be called such demeaning names. They tried to control me and I felt like I needed permission to do things such as go out for an evening after work. I was walking on eggshells at that house. The master manipulator was my mom's boyfriend. He made everything think he was a friend and that he could be trusted. But instead, he would use the information told to him as a weapon against me.
8 months ago I made the decision to finally leave that house (was still on somewhat good terms). It was until my mother go upset over the most insane and unreasonable issue. It was then I decided they were toxic people and I can no longer associate with them.
I still experience anxiety and stress. Sometimes I feel like they come to my area and try to stalk me.
I cannot believe I have such monstrous people in my life.
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Were you a kid when you lived with them?
From what I understand emotional abuse is generally when a parent uses a child in an inappropriate way to satisfy their own unmet emotional needs that should have been satisfied by their own parents or an adult partner. The child's needs are ignored and the child is used to meet the adult's needs instead, it's an inversion of the parent-child relationship.
Emotional abusers use a wide variety of techniques, probably all subconsciously, to bend you to their will so they can get what they need from you without resistance. Some of them are invalidation (aka gaslighting), minimizing, constant criticism, constant chaos, abusive expectations, denying, emotional blackmail, unpredictable responses etc.
See here for more info:
Emotional Abuse
If you try to confront the offending parent you can be sure they'll start invalidating immediately (psychology in it's entirety is completely wrong or some other B.S meanwhile they probably believe in voodoo and Tarot cards). DO NOT listen to them, they're just responding the way they always have except now you know what they're really doing. They won't change. It's best just to cut ties, go to therapy and seek out healthier people to be in your life.