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Originally Posted by Partless
Talking about that BDSM movie? Yeah I guess some people saying it looks like she is in abusive relationship. I say if two adults, in the privacy of their bedroom want to do whatever, are we gonna police what's wrong and right? Heck, argument can be made that the whole BDSM is pretty abusive no matter who does it or how.
Anyhow, as far as I can tell this is a fantasy and nothing less. No need to care for the characters as if reading a real story of real people and worry for them or see it as a tragedy or something. It's a vehicle for women experiencing some edgy and rough sex fantasies in safety of a book/movie.
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BDSM is a consensual relationship wherein there is a safe word and the submissive has an equal amount of power if not more so. The sub 100% has the power too stop anything they don't like or want, and the terms are agreed upon in advance. I have a friend who is a part of that scene and she said a lot of people who have suffered abuse in their lives explore the community and consider it empowering because of that condition.
As far as I understand, the criticism against the story is that there is no consensual relationship. She uses the safe word, says stop and no and he ignores her. Furthermore he controls her everyday activities. Because she had no agency, that is abuse.
From what I understand a lot of the BDSM community is rather miffed that people are calling this " BDSM" at all.
And though I appreciate the joke, I'm also a little squicked out by the comparison between this and therapy.