I've felt this way much of my life, but I did find hope sometimes. I think a break will come, I know that doesn't help right now, but I believe there will be a good day coming for you. Please try to open up to someone, keeping it all inside does not help. I know because I did this, for many years as a child and young adult, and now I know that no one understands what I was going through, so they still don't get the depression and how tired I am of dealing with it as a middle aged person. Some people wont ever get it, but I hope you feel comfortable talking here, and can reach out also for some professional help?