Thanks for all the replies. A lot of different opinions... which I kind of expected! I actually had no plans to contact her for a long time... if ever, but last week I did start really thinking about it. I asked my therapist about it, and she said to go with my heart, and that there is nothing wrong with extending an olive branch and thanking her for making me aware of the abuse and trying to help. My therapist did say, that in her opinion, I'm making great progress and she would vouch for me

I think I will wait at least a few more months, if not longer, even though I've suddenly had a strong desire to do it now. I don't want to write to her with any major details about my "journey", all I really want to say is that I sincerely appreciate how much she tried to help me, that I miss her, and see if she responds in a positive way. I really have no idea if she will or not. I hope she will, but I don't really have any expectations.

I did learn a lesson through this though. When she first told me to talk to her regularly, I expressed my concern that it would ruin our friendship. She said it would not ruin our friendship - that friends don't bail on each other when they go through these types of things. So I believed her. I don't hold anything against her now - I truly believe she helped me the best she could and was just emotionally exhausted and scared to death for me, and so she just had to extricate herself. But I have learned to be very careful how much you tell people. I've had several friends since last summer tell me they are "here for me no matter what" and I can contact them "as much as I need to", but now I just take it as a sign of them indicating they care about me, and not so much that they literally will be there for me through thick and thin. It's just too much for people, and I will never burden any of my friends that way again. I have no desire to lose another friend this way. It has been one of the most emotionally horrible things I've been through with someone (other than my husband).

As far as what I can offer her in a friendship - we've been only talking through email/phone every few months for years. I have seen her approximately once a year for the past 15 years, and she never gave me any indication that me being younger and having a different lifestyle than hers was a problem to her. She actually has commented many times that she loves seeing me change and grow into a different person than she did. We've always had this dynamic, and we do have many of the same interests that we always talked about. I don't believe she really thought my problems now would "ruin" our friendship. And I'm sure if I had never had these problems, our friendship would have continued and there wouldn't have been any "hard work" involved. I do wish I had never told her, or had kept it at the same level as I've been keeping it at with my other friends. Would have saved me (and her) a lot of heartache.

I think I'm going to wait for quite awhile longer before I contact her though. I do have some hope though, and I'm sure I will try eventually.