EVERY-day.....not rested....not feeling like here is another day....as a gift.....self medicating with alcohol....extra meds.....hitting the f....ing gym so hard for those"natural feel good chemicals"........ can't sleep like for nothing...............................................sucks........................so tired of it all......................want to be off of all the bull-.... meds...sleeping remdies....booze..........ruining my life that I have left.........bit here of this to sleep....this to get through the day...this for the night.......nothing for the darkniess...........night when I should be resitnng...healing.............youalll know these feelings.............daily life...miss being younger......knowing and feeling real happiness......contentment....jump aboard..........never gone deep with my depression..............scares the sh..t out of me.....not sorry for the rambling.........................................................truly the only place I have to talk.......I too cry at night.....daytime.....now........so I feel all of youall s pain.........Artie