Thank you, Perna. I wish I saw what you see in me! I see me being helpless and still having too strong feelings for my T! If I had REALLY wanted to go on the trip this summer, I would have gotten the passports a few months ago. I just figured we'd never go so it wasn't worth it. I'm still not sure if we will, but maybe....

Thanks, anneo. I also feel unsettled when my T wears make-up, because I don't. A lot of times she doesn't wear any, and I find I'm more comfortable with her then.

You're right. I have my religion but unfortunately I don't have the kind of faith many of my friends and members of the community do. The next world is supposed to be better but I have a hard time believing that.

Yes, I've heard of object constancy. I didn't realize this was a form of it. T is changing, not constant. It also hurts because I see it as a pattern with her and I'm scared of what other changes she is going to make. She already said she may go back to using her maiden name. Another big change.

Thank you. He's okay, but has to stay in the hospital overnight.

Thanks, Brightheart. No, I didn't read the link yet but I will. I think all of my fears go back to childhood, too, and my Mom's anxieties. I'm supposed to write a letter of encouragment to myself for DBT tomorrow, and also bring in a self-soothing kit. I'm trying to be compassionate with myself.

That is SO cute, Perna. Thank you!! My grandson had surgeries when he was born, and at 6 months. I don't think he's going to want to go back for the surgery and he will have to stay a couple of weeks in the hospital. He didn't like lying on his back for 6 hours after the test today.

I'm glad your relative is fine now!!!

Yes, that's exactly how I feel! Her upcoming divorce is a big change. She's determined to not let it affect therapy but with these changes in her, there's no way it doesn't affect my feelings about her.

Thanks, ReddClay. The change is hard, and for me, it's more than that. It's what these changes mean as a whole--or maybe the interpretation I'm giving them which may not be true. My T is not going anywhere but the stabiltiy is gone. Before, she had a house and a husband. Now she moved out and is on her own. Anything is possible and it scares me!