During the 2 years I've been going through benzo withdrawal, terrible things keep happening. The month after I went cold turkey my mom became terminally ill, fell and broke her hip and then died within 5 months. All of course during my acute phase of withdrawal. That whole series of events just seemed nightmarish and not real. I have barely accepted her death or mourned her because of my brain being so screwed up.

Now that it is almost 2 years to the date, I am coping somewhat better, although I obsess over everyone and everything in life. Now, there is even worse news. My son that is in his 30's and has just been diagnosed with myasthenia gravis. Which is a rare autoimmune disorder that has started with causing such severe vision problems and a drooping eye lid that he cannot drive or work at the moment. It is a muscle weakness that can progress fairly quickly to causing severe muscle weakness all over and interfere with breathing! So within 3 years it can cause death unless you get very expensive immune globulins, immunosuppressant drugs. Plus hospital time. He will not handle this well emotionally, he has no wife or significant other. The last few days he seems very depressed.

This is obviously devastating to me and I can hardly seriously think about the implications. Being the train wreck that I think I am, how am I going to support him. I am trying very hard to be positive and upbeat with him.

This is just all too much, and it is hard to think that I am NOT just cursed. To go through the hell of withdrawal and hope for a better life and at the same time lose my mom and now possibly my son. I don't know...