Granite, it seems like your T is seeing the positive changes you are making in your life and is validating the good choices you are making for yourself. You are hypercritical of yourself, so she is working with you to see and own that you are capable, you are stronger than you ever begin to give yourself credit for. I don't think it is about her not seeing that this is hard for you, that this is outside your usual box, that this is a struggle for you; she knows that AND she knows you know that times a thousand. And I don't think for a minute she is anywhere near saying you are all better and don't need to see her anymore; that's just your fear.

You have this kind of disconnection between how you perceive things and how they really are a lot. And you have a tendency to want your T to see you in the same way you see yourself and don't understand how anyone can see you or your history differently than you see yourself. You do it with your history; you do it with your perception of yourself as a baby. One of your T's big challenges is to help you see beyond the negative perceptions you have of yourself that tend to be very hypercritical based more on fear than reality, into the reality of yourself which is a caring individual who keeps on fighting and IS moving forward despite all the obstacles that have been thrown, and that you yourself psychologically throw, in your way.

As far as feeling fake. I get that. When I started making purposeful changes in my life, it didn't quite feel right. It at times didn't even feel like it was me really making those changes. But over time, it became more comfortable and now I know these changes in my life really are me and I'm really proud of myself. But that odd feeling that it wasn't real I think is pretty normal at a certain stage.