Quote:
Originally Posted by Webgoji
MattPerry35, if I could ask ... are you currently on medication for your depression? I ask because you described a pattern in your depressive states. If you're fighting depression, you'll be withdrawn emotionally. Ergo, you reach out, but since you don't have the emotional strength, there's an intimacy gap that your wife is sensing. It's a self-defeating circle.
So back to the pattern. Most people are familiar with Major Depression. Many people will have a Major Depressive Episode and then recover and not have to deal with it again. However, Major Depressive Disorder (which I have) is cyclical. There is a pattern of depressive episodes with increasingly shorter latency periods between them. Personally I wonder if you aren't fighting that battle and your doctors haven't quite connected the dots yet.
Getting the depressive episodes under control should help you deal with feelings of resentment and will also give you the strength to regain your emotional closeness. This in turn might help your wife open up so you can make positive strides in your relationship and maybe resolve this issue with the cousin.
Just a thought.
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I had gone to the doctor and they started me on Zoloft which made me worse. We then tried Wellbutrin which and it is making my emotions like a roller coaster. I am currently weaning off of that and am hoping I can just beat this current cycle. Not sure if that is the best idea or not.
As far as the issue with the cousin goes I don't know that we will ever see eye to eye on that one. I think that since they grew up together from a very young age she will always have a loyalty to him and that is going to be difficult for me to deal with. She says she feels like she has to wear a scarlet letter for the rest of her life. I personally think we could let that whole portion of the family go and it would be for the better. I don't think it is right for me to ask that of her or to even tell her that is the way I feel. I know I don't want to be the reason that she feels like she is wearing the scarlet letter.
I just hope she can respect the fact that I do not want to be involved with that part of the family. Wish we could just leave the past where it belongs. Sweeping it under the rug is not healthy in my opinion.