I'm not sure that obsessing over Bipolar disorder compulsively is not healthy. I think that line of thought of is a knee jerk reaction to unfortunate circumstances. Self doubt and guilt are a part of the disorder and they're something I deal with every single day.

Being obsessive over Bipolar can be constructive. So much goes into living a healthy life style when you've got Bipolar: nutrition, supplements (vitamins), healthy lifestyle choices, fitness, proper medication/therapy, healthy sleep hygiene, healthy personal hygiene, just to name a few.

Often times it feels impossible to work on all of those at one time but it doesn't change the fact that we have too.

I'm sorry that any of us feel like we're being selfish when the origin of our disorder is entirely out of our hands. I hope that you can find strength either in loved ones or elsewhere including in yourself.