Granite, if you'll excuse me being gross for a minute ... I've been extremely proud of people's progress because they used a rest room and flushed afterward instead of pooping in a Big Gulp cup and tossing it into an empty doorway. Progress is gauged on where a person started from, not on how far they still have to go.

It's possible your T is looking at where you started from and at the efforts you've made and she's validating your effort and changes, all the while knowing, along with you, there's a long way to go.

Your opening post says a lot. If you don't know how to express what you're feeling, what you wrote there is strong and profoundly moving. It's a way to make yourself heard if you can express even half of it.

If you're faking it until you make it, well ... at least you're making the effort to make it. It's part of the process of change. I wish you the best.