Like you said in regards to your husband, I wonder if your feelings towards your T are because of your insecurities with your relationship with her? Maybe if you felt more confident with how she felt about you it would help diffuse some of your jealousies?
I think that's the case with me, but although I feel pretty confident in how my T feels towards me, I still get jealous, and she knows it, but I'm just still to embarrassed to go thru the details with her,yet.