I've had luck with gathering worthwhile support, and even some well needed awareness raising on this site in the past, it seems only prudent, and safe to express this here.
I recently had a bit of a relapse. It never became violent, but I don't think I can safely say that it was not abusive. I expressed some private conversations about my ex, though it was done anonymously, I can't say I respect or am proud of anything I said. It was done in a moment of anger, and depression. the problem is that we haven't been together in a long time, i was a bit triggered by a recent event, but I should have reacted in a different manner. I would say that it's just some online comments, but I believe she may have read them. If she read them, it wouldn't take very much to figure out it was about her.
Saying it wasn't my intention doesn't cut it, if she read it at all the anonymity means nothing to me. I couldn't even read them the next morning, I had the site take my comments down.
It's been a few weeks, but I just keep feeling worse. I can't stop thinking of how awful she must feel. I wasn't graphic, it wasn't sexual, but it was personal, it could have been anyone's fight. But it was ours, I know it was our fight, i just lost it. I think for a moment I was proud that it wasn't Facebook, or twitter, or instagram, no names were given or titles or places, but still. None of those things matter, I had those feelings and should have, honestly, just not shared them! or called someone or wrote it in a journal.